Porno
Have you ever noticed that there's all these initiatives to teach people how to code? Countless programs hammering into us the belief that being a bit-flipper is the ultimate key to happiness in the 21st century. "A future where everyone knows how to code." Sounds like Techno-Utopian nonsense to me. There is a disconnect between what is taught and what computers are actually used for. We must embrace the underlying shadow of the internet.
Did you know that something like one third of all internet traffic is for porn?[1] We all know that old meme "the internet is for porn”. We've all been in the office Zoom meeting and scrolling through the Rule 34 forums for drawings of Lola bunny instead of paying attention.
Why is this not acknowledged when we teach people how to code? What the world needs is a programming tool that acknowledges the new heights of degeneracy made possible by Information Communication Technologies.
You may be familiar with p5.js. It makes it very easy for beginner programmers to create computer art. You can easily add shapes, lines, and colors to an HTML canvas. You type circle(50, 50, 10) and it will draw a circle with radius 10 at x=50, y=50. Pretty great, right?
Well now there's a new tool in the code-o-sphere that adds a new dimension to learning to code. Built off of the open source foundations of p5.js, pen15.js adds a new twist to coding education. Much like how p5.js easily allows beginner coders to draw shapes and patterns, with pen15.js (pronounced "pen fif-teen dot jay-ess") you can easily add cartoon penises that shoot virtual cum particles, with just a few lines of code!
Finally, a tool that helps you breathe life into your Spongebob fanfic.
Now there will inevitably be some HATERS out there who will say things like "I feel happy assuming that we don't want any sexual metaphors in computer software".
To these folks I say:
"What is the foundational unit of the computer?"
A bit.
And what are the two possible values for a bit?
I rest my case.